What fun it must have been! Singing all the old tunes, joking about soccer, talking about, I dunno, Desperate Housewives. Just a lovely weekend in Morocco that we all would have fantasized about back in the mid-late 90s, minus the Eva Longoria part. That’s no slight to Eva Longoria, it’s just that most of us didn’t know who Eva Longoria was at that point in time, and even if we did, she almost certainly wouldn’t have factored into our Spice Girls/David Beckham friends weekend daydreams. That’s all. It’s great that Eva Longoria was there, but she’s more an added bonus than she is, y’know, part of the dream team.
You may notice one thing off about this fabulous birthday party. Namely, the absence of one Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown. Where was she? Who knows. Maybe she was doing a season of Australian The Voice Kids or something. Or maybe she doesn’t get along with the other Girls. Weren’t there rumors about that, about Mel B fighting with the other Spices? This might be what I’m thinking of, but that’s more about squabbling in the past. It kind of sounds like they’ve made up since. So who knows why Scary wasn’t there. But seeing as she was always secretly the best one, her not being on the Morocco trip sort of puts a taint on the whole thing, doesn’t it?
But still, the Spice Girls, or almost all the Spice Girls, got together over the weekend and drank a toast to David Beckham, the sexiest soccer play since . . . ever, really. Isn’t that a marvelous occasion, especially for fans of British kitsch (Britsch?). Oh, and Eva Longoria was there. Sure. That too. (I wonder if she’ll bring Posh Spice to a Desperate Housewivesreunion for William H. Macy’s birthday or something. In Tunisia or, I dunno, Malta. You know, a trade-off.) It really sounds like it was a special weekend. And you weren’t there! None of us were there. Unless one of you is Eva Longoria. If you’re Eva Longoria and you’re reading this, then, yeah, sure, you were there. But the rest of us? Nope. We missed it. And we’ve only been dreaming about it for 18 years. We’re almost as left out as poor Mel B.