It’s a curious paradox, isn’t it? You’ll rarely see a wealthy man humiliate a woman over her financial situation. A rich man, confident in his achievements, can date a woman with little to her name, and not once will he make her feel lesser for it. His wealth doesn’t serve as a tool for shaming—it’s a part of who he is, not a weapon for superiority. His success speaks for itself, allowing him the confidence to appreciate a person for their essence, not their bank account.
But turn the tables, and you find a different story. It’s often the case that a woman will scarcely acknowledge a man who’s struggling financially. Imagine a broke man offering a friendly greeting—sometimes, the response isn’t warmth, but a sharp reminder of his ‘place.’ This isn’t about attraction; it’s about societal expectations. Women are often conditioned to seek security, a survival instinct perhaps, but it can manifest as a harsh dismissal of men who don’t meet a certain financial standard. “Know your level,” they might say, as if his worth is solely tied to his wallet.
This idea that men are somehow ‘intimidated’ by a woman’s success? It’s a misinterpretation. Men aren’t afraid of successful women—they’re wary of disrespect. In a partnership, respect isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Men value a dynamic where success doesn’t overshadow mutual regard. It’s not about feeling inferior; it’s about not being made to feel inferior. A man’s need to maintain his dignity is often misread as insecurity, when in reality, it’s a natural reaction to condescension.
Take a moment to observe the world around you. Notice how society treats men during their leaner times. Do we allow them grace, or do we judge them harshly? Truth be told, it’s often ironic when people claim men fear successful women. What they resist isn’t success—it’s the implication that success should equate to superiority. Consider the Ooni of Ife, a revered figure of Yoruba royalty, who has married accomplished, professional women—lawyers, doctors, businesswomen—each secure in her own achievements and well-established in her profession. In any other setting, these same women might never consider a relationship where they would share a partner, let alone accept polygamy as a norm. Yet, in the context of royalty, they embrace their role, even if they are not the first or only wife. It’s a dynamic that transcends conventional expectations and highlights a deeper respect for tradition, status, and perhaps a sense of purpose beyond individual gain.
Imagine these accomplished women outside of this royal context: many would likely hesitate to marry a man without wealth, power, or influence. And if a non-royal partner were to marry someone else, it might be grounds for divorce or, at the very least, discontent. But here, as wives to a king, these same women honor the Ooni and his role, accepting even the possibility of others sharing their position. It’s a telling example of how societal expectations and personal ambitions can bend in the face of tradition, status, and legacy.
This example shows that respect and recognition matter more than power plays or financial intimidation. These women aren’t simply joining a household—they’re becoming part of a cultural legacy, one where their roles carry purpose, prestige, and meaning. It’s not about competition; it’s about the honor of sharing in something greater than themselves. This speaks volumes against the notion that men are intimidated by a woman’s success; rather, in the right context, both men and women can transcend ego and individualism, creating a bond grounded in mutual respect and purpose.
Here, royalty offers a context where ambition doesn’t translate into rivalry, where a woman’s success is celebrated as part of the collective strength of the union, not as a threat. It’s a powerful narrative that shows how context and respect shape relationships—and how, when rooted in tradition and honor, even the most accomplished individuals find joy in shared purpose rather than superiority.
By : Jide Adesina
